Monthly Archives: June 2011

Thank you for not smoking…

Today Devilette had her 4 month immunisations. This in itself is not an event of great note.

However, it was our first visit with a lovely new lady doctor who I shall henceforth refer to, with great affection, as Dr. Vague.

As per usual with Dr’s and babies, we had to answer all the standard questions about how we were coping, if we had enough support, how she was feeding, sleeping, pooping, etc…. and then came one which I haven’t, in several years of being a parent, heard before.

“Does she smoke inside the house?”

“Umm No”, was my shocked and smugly pious answer. “It’s a filthy habit. We always make her go outside to smoke. And don’t get me started on her drinking!!??” 

Good thing I was thinking on my feet there… I mean, could you imagine the ramifications if I gave the wrong answer? I’d hate for anyone to think I was an irresponsible parent.

But as I left, screaming newly immunised baby in tow, I couldn’t help asking a question of my own.

“Does Dr Vague smoke inside the house? And if the answer is yes, what exactly is it that she’s smoking?”

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Filed under Devilette, stupidity

Viking invasion

At 4am this morning I was woken in my marital bed by something hard and pointy poking into my back.

And, NO it’s not what you’re thinking, you saucy minxes.

In fact, It was a viking helmet. And by viking helmet, I actually mean a viking helmet, and a three foot sword. Both attached to a very awake Devilboy who desperately needed to tell me extremely urgent news that couldn’t possibly wait until daytime.

“Mama, I’m a magic viking!”

“But, it’s the middle of the night!” I growled (having just fallen back to sleep after being exuberantly roused by Devilette for the seventeenth time).

“Yes I know mama, that’s the magic part!”

Right.

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Filed under Devilboy, random insanity, sleep deprivation