I was fairly shocked when we began this journey to discover that stage one of making a baby with IVF is to go on a strong contraceptive pill. Seemed a bit of a paradoxical approach to conceiving a child but what would I know… the traditional methods, you know, like having sex and all that malarkey sure as heck hasn’t worked.
Given my nervousness about drugs in needles and how my body would react to them and all their lovely side effects… I didn’t really stop to think all that long and hard about the side effects of an oral medication that is allegedly 200% stronger than a normal contraceptive pill.
After almost two weeks of taking them I am a ratty, bitchy, manic depressive cow who has sudden bursts of euphoric hysteria. It’s quite amazing what a total and utter tit I’ve become. Seriously, I can’t believe how utterly shit I feel and this is from the easy bit. I just hope it’s my hormones swinging into alignment at super speed due to the strength of these fuckers because if I gets worse M can stand in line, because I’ll be divorcing me first!
As I am stopping them in a few days my moods could flip about all over the place some more which will no doubt thrill M to pieces. My beloved adores irrational bitchiness and mood swings in his women! In fact, so attractive will this make me to him, I’m sure he’ll fall madly in love with me all over again!
Tomorrow is phase two in my mission to make our Sea Monkey. I am not at all excited to be starting the first round of daily needles.
Daily needles that, I might add, must be self administered, eek! I would prefer M gave them to me but as he couldn’t even give insulin to the cat without having an aneurysm I think I’ll be flying solo all the way in my quest to become a human pin cushion. At least if M could give me the injection it would seem a bit more Trainspottingish and I could just pretend I was a junky and he was Ewan McGregor.
I’m all ready though. I picked up the seventeen million dollar supply of the drug Lucrin – the lovely stuff I have to inject myself with for the next few weeks and was terribly thrilled to read in the information supplied that the drug is actually designed and administered for sufferers of prostate cancer. Umm, do these IVF people know about which one is the mummy and which one is the daddy and where babies actually come from?
Though hugely relieved that my non existent prostrate will be freed from cancer I am more than a little worried that amongst some of the more common side effects I may suffer from shrinking of the testes.
And, thank Gods, there is no evidence from this drug of mutagenic potential. I was really quite worried about that!
Anyway, I best be off, it’s been at least ten minutes since I last bit someone’s head off…